The Bullet

For the past semester I have been trying to set up a friend of mine with one of my students. After many weeks of putting it off, he finally got to meet her tonight. Of course, he decided it would be great fun to set me up with someone as well (I'm really done with this part of being single, by the way...). It was casual; fun. I'm not going to lie; I felt pretty old compared to my date who is still a sophomore in college. However, the night went well, even if it was for strange reasons.

My student was in a concert tonight. It was a free concert, not too long. Afterward, the four of us (me, "date," "friend," and "student") went over to friend's house. I walk in, and lo and behold, I see a face that I hadn't seen in at least four years. It was the younger brother of my oldest friend. This guy was also best friends with my younger brother. We talked for a few minutes, and it was fun to see how much he had changed and yet how much he was still the same. I grew up with this boy. His family was my second family. (side note: with this boy was another boy who grew up in my neighborhood. I hadn't seen him for probably close to ten years. In my mind that boy was still 10... kind of trippy.)

My date and friend were trying to see which one of their blenders was "the best." My date's blender was a high-powered, industrial strength blender. My friend's blender was a small, but powerful, blender called "The Bullet." Throughout the course of the night the two talked up their product, and I felt like I was inside of an infomercial. It was funny.

About twenty minutes into a smoothie/milkshake blending escapade, my friend's younger brother walked in with some friends, among which was the younger brother of one of my best friends from high school. I also hadn't seen this guy for probably four or five years. He jumped right into the blending competition, with huge confidence in "the bullet," and began a very impressive presentation while making some salsa. I laughed a lot as I noticed the way he said certain words, or made certain gestures, that reminded me so much of his older brother.

What was so strange for me was that both of these younger siblings reminded me so much of the friends I knew years ago--friends who I still care a great deal for, but who have changed dramatically, not necessarily for better or worse, just different. As I sat in the apartment I had a surge of memories flood my mind. I was laughing the way I used to laugh in high school. And while I would never want to go back to high school, I did love those years and it was a little slice of dessert as I was transported back. It was also a little disheartening as I thought about how my relationships with both people have changed. These two people meant so much to me for so long, as still do, but it's not the same.

I don't mind change, and ultimately I am so happy to be where I am. I am surrounded by amazing people, and continue to meet more amazing people all the time. But I don't think I will ever get over the sadness that comes when friendships slowly evolve into, I don't know how to put it, something else. The love is still there, but the distance (not necessarily physical) is never easy to accept. It's nights like this that remind me how true the statement "we are the sum total of our experiences" really is. It reminded me that the people who have touched my life in the past, continue to play a part in the person I am now. And for that I am grateful.